Paradise Lost, An Alternate Ending
by PeaCoat
Summary: For Reed and Josh fans. Picks up in the final chapter of Paradise Lost. As Reed is about to win the Upton game, she is interrupted...but not by Poppy! My first Fan Fic, so feedback would be great.
1. Chapter 1

The Private Series, and all the characters from them, belong to Kate Brian. I am in no way affiliated.

For Team Josh (because there IS no other team). All the events from Paradise Lost have happened as they did in the book. This is the last chapter of Paradise lost, rewritten. Reed is interrupted before she officially wins the Upton game...but not by Poppy. Review if you like it. I am hoping to continue it.

"You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen," Upton whispered. Just hearing his voice sent tingles down my spine. As was formulating a response, I heard the familiar sound of my ring tone.

Upton groaned as I paused to search for my phone. "Just let it go to voicemail" he said, his arms pulling me close. Sigh. I so wanted to, but I couldn't. What if it was important? Come to think of it, I hadn't called home in a while. I gave him a quick kiss.

"Give me two minutes. Then we can get back to where we left off"

I reached over the bed and grabbed my phone off the mahogany night stand. I didn't bother checking the caller id- whoever was calling was going to get the same message; call back later!

I flipped open the phone. "Hello."

"Reed?"

My heart all but stopped at the sound of his voice. "Josh?" I hated how meek I sounded but I really couldn't believe it was him.

"God, it's good to hear your voice" My heart swelled as I sensed his longing.

Suddenly the private room felt all too crowded. I could feel my eyes brimming with tears. I stole a glance at Upton, who was looking at me, confusion written all over his face. Five minutes ago, I wouldn't have left this room if my life depended on it. Now - now, everything had changed. I had to get out of there. I quickly zipped up my dress and with one last apologetic glace, headed for the door. Once outside, I found my way into an unlocked room a few doors down and gently sunk down into the bed. By now the tears were flowing. I hadn't realized how much Id missed him until right then. _Pull yourself together, Reed. _

"Josh…why are you- what…?" _God, I was a blubbering mess. _"Is everything okay?"

"Sorry, I just-I just had to talk to you. I couldn't put it off any longer" The tone of his voice made me uneasy. Something was off. There was something he didn't want to tell me. As much as it pained me, I had to ask. I knew I had to.

"Is it Ivy?"

"No, that's just it. Ivy's in the same condition as when you left, Reed." Just hearing him say my name made me weak in the knees. "She's awake more often now, and they still expect her to make a full recovery. It's just going to be a little while" He paused, as if contemplating how to continue. "I just can't do it, Reed. God I'm sorry. You don't know how sorry. But I can't leave her, can't break up with her, just as she's starting to get better. She doesn't deserve that. And you don't deserve this. I tried to stay away, to keep from hurting you, but I couldn't take it any longer. I had to talk to you."

Like a broken record, his words replayed in my mind, their meaning tearing me apart. He was staying with Ivy. Still. He had called me to tell me what I already knew. But then, was I really surprised? This was Josh we were talking about. Good, honest, dependable Josh. Of course he was staying with Ivy.

"Reed?"

"I'm here, and I understand, I do" At least, I was trying to. "I'm glad you called though. I've missed you." I thought back to the past week of vacation, all those moments with Upton. The more I remembered, the more I realized I had been trying to replace Josh. All the things that had drawn me closer to Upton – the picnic, the sweatshirts, the undivided attention he gave me - were things that Josh would have done and ways that he would have acted. I felt the most overwhelming sense of relief at having been interrupted by Josh's phone call earlier. If he hadn't called we might have – I blushed at the thought.

"I've missed you too. How's St. Barths?"

The earnest curiosity in his voice took my breath away. _Josh would believe me. Josh would listen. _Suddenly I wanted to tell him everything; about my bird and the horse, and the stalker in the picture. I wanted to tell him how scared I was. Josh wouldn't tell me I was overreacting. He would understand, he would be there for me, my rock. And then reality hit. But that was just it. He wasn't my rock anymore, wasn't mine to lean on. I took a deep breath and cleared my head.

"Oh, you know, better then West Wackadoodle Pennsylvania" I could hear him laughing on the other end. It felt good to make him laugh.

We made small talk for a few more minutes, until he had to go.

"I'll see you when I get back, then. And Josh?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for calling"

"Reed," He sounded anguished. "You know I still…I still lo-"

I cut him off. I couldn't bear to hear it when I knew it couldn't mean anything. At least not now. "I know. Me too."

I closed the phone and looked around. I felt so empty. There was a lot I had to deal with, number one being letting go of Upton. Now that I knew what that whole thing had been about, I needed to let it go. So many thoughts swirled in my head – Ivy, Josh, Upton, the stranger in the picture. My head was unlivable. I needed to get out of here. I left the room and walked outside onto the deck that ran all around the yacht. I stopped at the rear of the boat and leaned against the railing. The fresh air was calming. An odd musky scent filled the air around me and before I knew what was happening, I felt a tug on my necklace. Then a pair of hands hit me in the back and shoved. The last thing I heard before I hit the cold, dark water was the sound of gleeful squealing and cheering, as someone at the tables won big.


	2. Chapter 1 JPOV

It was almost 8 o'clock and I could see the nurse pacing outside, waiting to tell me visiting hours were over. Ivy yawned and smiled at me. "You better go, that nurse keeps giving you dirty looks"

I grinned back at her. "Yeah I guess you're right." I got up from the uncomfortable chair, and let go of her hand. I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek "I'll come by again in the morning"

It had been a week since the incident, and Ivy had woken up 3 days ago. I looked back at her as I was leaving the door...things were good with us. Good, but not true. Only I couldn't bring that up, at least not yet. I was wrong for even thinking about it. As I got to the car my phone rang and I grabbed it form my pocket. All week, whenever I heard it I would go from hopeful anticipation to dejection. _She's not going to call man, you were supposed to call her._

It was all too complicated. I just wanted to hear her voice, needed to hear it. Needed to know she was okay. Needed to tell her that she's all I think about, every second of every day. But how was that fair to her? I couldn't break up with Ivy, I couldn't be with her. Heck I couldn't give her anything. She deserved more than that. But she also deserved the phone call I had promised her.

***

"Reed, NO!!" _You can't kill her, I lo-_

"Josh, wake up" Trey was standing in the doorway, a concerned look on his face. "You okay, man?"

"Yeah I'm fine…just a dream I guess" I stole a glance at the clock. It was only 10.

"If you're sure." He didn't seem convinced. "There's a party in the common room, you should come. Get your mind of things."

"Maybe later" I couldn't go just yet. It was too unfair. It was time for me to call her. I grabbed my phone of my desk and dialed the number that I used to call every day at 10. The phone rang several times, and just I was about to hang up I heard her voice.

"Hello?" She sounded distracted, and slightly annoyed at being interrupted.

"Reed?"

Her voice was filled with surprise. "Josh?"

Just hearing her say my name made me long to see her. "God, it's good to hear your voice."

She didn't say anything for a while. I heard her shuffling around and a few muffled words on the other end. What exactly had I interrupted? Was there someone else? And if there was, why was she leaving to talk to me? _Calm down Josh. She's not yours anymore. _

"Josh…why are you- what…?" I had made her cry. I shouldn't have called but…

"Sorry, I just-I just had to talk to you. I couldn't put it off any longer" I knew what she was going to ask me next and I knew I was going to have to break her heart. And that broke mine.

"Is it Ivy?"

"No, that's just it. Ivy's in the same condition as when you left, Reed. She's awake more often now, and they still expect her to make a full recovery. It's just going to be a little while" I took a deep breath, not wanting to say what came out next. "I just can't do it, Reed. God I'm sorry. You don't know how sorry. But I can't leave her, can't break up with her, just as she's starting to get better. She doesn't deserve that. And you don't deserve this. I tried to stay away, to keep from hurting you, but I couldn't take it any longer. I had to talk to you."

Silence. I hated that I was causing her pain. "Reed?"

"I'm here, and I understand, I do" I could hear the pain in her voice, but also the resolve to stay strong. She was perfect. "I'm glad you called though. I've missed you."

"I've missed you too." If only she knew how much. "How's St. Barths?"

"Oh, you know, better then West Wackadoodle Pennsylvania" I laughed. Surely Noelle had coined that term. But I also got the strangest sense that there was something else…something bothering her. But she made a point of avoiding it, and as much as I wanted to know, I knew it wasn't my right anymore.

She told me about the Ryans and Taylor and Kiran. She was careful to leave him out but I knew Dash was there too, he went every year. I had forgiven them, especially after Sabine's confession, but the picture of them together still hurt. We talked for a while before I realized I'd better get to sleep. I needed to be at the hospital early tomorrow.

"I'll see you when I get back, then. And Josh?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for calling"

All the feelings I'd tried to hide through the conversation made their way to the surface. "Reed, you know I still…I still lo-"

She cut me off. "I know. Me too."

I closed my phone and lay down. I felt so empty without her, so wrong. I was going to have to sort out this thing with Ivy, once and for all. And then maybe, just maybe, I could have the love of my life back.


End file.
